Why does everyone assume I want a “break” from my children? Why is it invitations to see a friend are almost always followed by “dad can watch them” or “do you have a babysitter?” “Let’s go ____!” Insert something completely incompatible with having a child with you. WHY?
I do need a break occasionally, but a night out bar hopping or at a party is NOT a break for me, those activities fall more into the “I miss my kiddos, I’m so dehydrated, can we leave at 9” category. Why can’t we get together to have a play date, why can’t we sip wine while our spawn hang out? Why do I need to pass my babies off onto various other people in order to be active with you? When my youngest is older, I would love to go out for the night and go on an adventure, but most things that I like to do can be done with them or while they are asleep. Barn fires, cookouts, games, cards, gossip, don’t make me call my mother to watch 2 kids please. She’s got 4 million jobs and is tired.
I WANT to be with my kids especially when something fun is involved. I would love to have you over when they are both asleep for the night to play cards against humanity and swear and have adult time, why is it an expectation that I send them away to do things?
Every now and then my oldest goes to one of his Nana’s (or as he calls them, Ba and BaDos) house for the night on a weekend, while my husband and I stay home with the baby and watch grown up shows on Netflix and have a drink. Why do I get eyes rolled at me when I mention this to fellow parents? My daughter is 7 months old, exclusively breastfed (no, you can’t watch her for an hour and feed her baby food) she wants me, to be with ME. No Nana can’t take her for a few hours while I get my nails done, “she’ll cry but she’ll get use to it” NO. HELL NO. I am her parent. I am who she is crying for, I am her comfort and her food and her momma, I will not pass her off to cry at my mother’s house while I indulge. I’m sorry, but that is not how I mother my children, if you can, good on you, but I cannot, and I wish I could find my tribe, anyone who would say the same and not judge me for it.